Lil’ B: A Based Introspective

First off, I’d like to thank the Based God for not fucking my bitch, because then the score would just be like 600 million bitches of his, to my being a bitchless guy in the world. No bueno. So, thank you #BasedGod. Thank you!

In all truth, I want to take a moment to give credit, where credit is due. From one God to another.

This matter touches upon a subject that is very important in the audience that is the American public. This moment’s purpose is to highlight a massive talent of Lil’ B’s. It’s a talent that made itself necessary and grand even for the now reigning “leader of the free world.”

Yes, indeed. This is about Lil; B’s ability of transcension. Transcending race, (as the corporate media of the United States said president Obama did), time and space, even beyond mythological boundaries. Which, hence, brings us to the world famous quote, “Hoes on my dick, cause i look like Jesus Christ!”


Lil’ B “Look Like Jesus”


This idea is one that not only takes the cake, but smacks it to a whole other table packed with people who might not even identify with Jesus Christ as their sexiest savior. This is revolutionary upon Based proportions (Revolutionary idea x Based = Infinite Newness). The idea of Jesus being black, is not exactly a new one, especially being that the Bible itself, takes the original credit for stating it. “Revelation 1:15 – And his feet like fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters.” Sound like Barry White might’ve been the predicted Messiah of the new world.

But the Based God, took it to unimaginable depths when proclaiming that looking like Jesus is the reason why women are attracted to him. And so it seems that he really experienced the joys of the Holy Spirit in extremely tangible modes and positions. When has mainstream America, or any society in the past 2,000 years, for that matter, embraced the idea of Jesus as a possible symbol of sexy? Only Eric Cartman has, in my own personal recollection.


Eric Cartman / Faith + 1


Although, it should be noted that Eric’s street credibility in South Park, didn’t exactly translate into numerical agreement via sales, among the demographic of women, regardless of race or social status. Lil’ B on the other hand, accomplished that and personalized the experience on this his own self. As many pastors pronounce, that one’s love for Jesus, grants many wishes of personal gratification. os is that just Creflo Dollar’s message? But I digress.


KRS-One “Ah Yeah”


Another amazing display of Lil’ B’s cognitive art, is in his ability to transcend time and space, into any living context that he wishes to be in. KRS-One did this same thing in his classic, “Ah Yeah” in his self titled album, in 1995. He went from being a Kemetic mythic figure, into Biblical mythical figures, (which transcends just about 4000 years in such a simple application of poetry), to American revolutionaries like Sojourner Truth, Nat Turner and even Malcolm X, before becoming his own self! But he only did this once. The Based God, in comparison, is accomplishing this as habitually as we make mental notes relating to sex. Which, should be noted, is a whole lot of the fucking time. Lil’ B transforms himself into the women’s champ, by looking like Jesus Christ, then Bill Gates, then the pope (which one? Or does he look like them all??) and even Darth Vader! What women find sci-fi sexy? Only the Based God would know how to draw the dark side’s panties for a Jedi.


Lil’ B f/ Andy Milonakis “Hoes On My Dick”


Lil’ B’s transcension abilities don’t end there. Oh no it doesn’t. Lil’ B has stumped the world of empirical mathematics also. Take a song like “All Alone” where  his residual number of lady friends jumped faster than the united States national debt in only 5 seconds!! 1,000 Chinese and Mexicans combined couldn’t populate this fast.

“I got about 30 hoes. I ain’t even tripping. I could call about 600 bitches and I know they’ll come over.
600 million bitches on deck! How does that feel?”
-Lil’ B “All Alone”


The Based God is also found to be interested in sharing his wisdom, as opposed to just keeping it for his own satisfaction and gratification. He takes the concept of “health is wealth”, as you’ve seen KRS and Dead Prez be advocates of this teaching, and apply it with his Based self.


Lil’ B “Wonton Soup”


Wonton soup, used as his symbol of the right foods to eat, of Chinese/Eastern origin, is used in linkage with wealth. He parked his car and then fucked your bitch, and ate his wonton soup. So wonton soup – as the symbol of healthy eating – is the gift that continues to give back to ones own self. So this means, your health, attracts the gratifying wealth that you want. And the attraction of whoever you desire, in his case, being 600 million women, at once (as it was documented in 2011). This might have a direct impact in the increasing intake of wonton soup (1). Hence a greater appreciation for true Chinese cuisine, not available at the Chinese take out spots, that have flooded the hood, like a true pimp.

With all the above said, we (because you agree with 100% of this documentation) have established that Lil’ B is promoting black solidarity and confidence (like that weekend where he extended his Based God self to resurrect Souljah Boy’s career; refer to Souljah Boy’s “30 Thousand, 100 Million” f/ Lil’ B. Also notice the application of exponential mathematics that the empirical mind, has yet to comprehend.) On top of promoting black solidarity, he shares his ability to transcend beyond time and space – willfully – while binding it with the concept of health being wealth, all via a cognitive style of Mc’ing that is still too kufi (above your head) for most, called being Based, for all to ingest.


Learn math to count your blessings
– Lil’ B “Age Of Information”


The very Napoleon himself would be proud, if he could ever get over his problem with Black people. Good thing for Lil’ B though. Since Napoleon passed on a long time ago, he won’t suffer the classic nose job, that the Sphinx did. The work of the Based God, isn’t one purely of his own success, but rather of sharing. As Lil’ B stated in one of his interviews, his concern is the upliftment of the Black race. So a whole generation of youth can experience this greater quality of life, of health, wonton soup, drop tops, and fucking other people’s bitches, due to looking like Jesus Christ.

The revelation of the Based God’s mission happened in response to the prior attack, unleashed on his Basedness, by some unbased, heathenic earthling, who’s love and admiration was perverted.

(1). Divino DeNegro is allowed to create his own facts, without the help of CNN polls with the self assumed .5% margin error evaluations, or surveys via clipboard people (if you know me, then you know the great lengths, that I go, to ignore the existence of these people).

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